My hat's off to you, William Goldman

So, I just finished reading The Princess Bride by William Goldman. It's been one of my goals to read some of the classics that I've somehow missed over my past 23 years.

Might I just say - hilarious and fantastic. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I LOVED the pretending to skip over satirical, long, dull parts about the royalty picking their clothes and packing them and such, which was supposed to signify how ridiculous the upper classes are, but really would just be boring. Also, those chapters never actually existed, since the "original" book was by William Goldman. The whole facade was genius - I don't know if I could cut my writing enough to do that. Also, it's a story within a story - with enough detail to make your head spin.

However, even though it was fake, it made me think of some other books that would be thoroughly awesome if the boring parts were chopped out of them. Here is my list of ones that come to mind:

Crime and Punishment - really? It took her 10 pages to walk down the stairs?

Grapes of Wrath - I don't care if those intercaloric chapters had a deeper meaning, and the tortoise trying to get across the road signified the people struggling in his story - they were boring and unnecessary, in my opinion. I also don't believe that is a correct interpretation. Steinbeck was padding his novel for all he was worth, making the masses think his third-grade story about his pet was really deeply significant. Yeah, yeah, I might still be bitter for having to read it in 11th grade - if you have read it, you understand. Also, if you cut out those chapters, you lose nothing of the story. Maybe you lose the artistic depth, but that's it. Maybe.

Persuasion - now, I'm not dissing Jane Austen at all. All I'm saying is that there were some parts in this book that were snooze-fests. Cut out all the family tree stuff, please! We don't really need to know the history of the family to understand the idea that the father stunk and pedigree mattered to him. Besides that, I heart this book.

Now that I've thoroughly alienated the entire English academic community, I'll move on.

Actually, I lied. I want to talk about the movie The Princess Bride first.



I love when writers take actual dialogue from the book to use in the movie. If the author has a great line in there, why not use it? Thank you, William Goldman, for doing just that. Bless you. It was so fun to hear lines from the movie that I'd read in the book. The casting was also fabulous. Lots of no-name actors, except Mandy Patinkin - Becca has informed me, but marvelous acting nonetheless. Might I say near-perfect matching of the characters in the book to the movie? I just did.

Other random thoughts I'd like to share:

I made a thumb cake for Becca's birthday, like the one in an episode of the TV show Glee. It was mostly thought up by my mom, but mostly executed by me. I'll post a pic of it on here when I find the camera.

Micah is still hilarious. Lately, he's had a sarcastic laugh that I blame Calvin and Hobbes for: the classic "Har har". I can't help but laugh when he whips that one out. Also, he's let us know that the first commandment is not actually love God like you all thought, but, and I quote, "Have babies." Wow. Thanks Micah, for that information.

I'm actually kind of getting into a video game. I know! Hang me now. But I started playing around with Boom Blox, and although I've mostly given up on some parts, there are levels I've tried a good 20 times to do well in. I can't believe it, but it's true.

I still love Harry Potter. I used to read them all in order right before J.K. would put out another one, and now that I've missed a few summers, I've found they're still just as enjoyable.

A tribute to Brooklynn, Eck and Jack-Jack

It's time for a tribute to my sister Brooke, her husband Eric and their son Jack.



No - it's not their birthdays.

No - they didn't buy me a house or a Jaguar (mmm...Jaguars...).

No - they haven't died - but they might as well have - they're moving back East. Just joking! No, really - Steph! Keep reading this post! I promise my cheap shots on the East Coast are done.

It's just that they'll be so far away from me - and Brooke's having my first niece in December, too. I was going to dress her up in hats and bows and purses and bracelets...etc, etc. I know I totally still can spoil her(and believe me, I'm going to visit as often as I can and send packages and such) but it would be more convenient if they were still 30 minutes away. And I could do it more often. And I could be more sure that Brooke and Eric weren't unspoiling her - ruining all my marvelous Aunt Work.

I was helping them clean and pack a little Monday night, and when they left to say goodbye to a friend I sat in their living room, thinking about the good times we'd had there. Sleepovers, talks, movies, dinners, visiting Eric after he had knee surgery and was on pain meds, visiting Brooke after Jack was born, "Rosalinda" - Brooke's Spanish alter ego - coming out after she stayed up late, and sharing many many jokes.

We took a few road trips all together - one to Denver to see Wicked and one to California to play, play and play some more.

This post is gradually declining into a eulogy of sorts, which is creeping me out. Let me just say - yes, I'm sad they're going, but I hope they have so much fun and lots of cool experiences, and I'll keep on keepin' on for the next two years. It'll be over before I know it, probably.

I hope Jack remembers me - except there's that baby amnesia thing. Hmmm...maybe a package will have to include an Amy-mobile or something...

P.S. - I was thinking the other day about how the president of the US is really just like an student body officer at any school - they can promise all they want to put pop in the drinking fountains and have chiminichangas every day for lunch, but when they get into the position, they realize how little power they have and how things really work in their establishment. Without them.

And, yea, verily I thought about writing about my job...

...but when you work for the government, kind of - I'm a contractor, and get security clearance and have to go to a totally secured building with a siren flashing when you're in a room because you don't have top level security clearance, and take a quiz on what you can and cannot use and do when on an Air Force computer, even when it's unclassified, you get a bit paranoid.

I've probably said too much already.

Actually, all I do is lay out and do some editing for CrossTalk, a Department of Defense software engineering magazine, and we really don't even have to be on base, except for the fact that it helps us to be closer to our editorial board.

But I shouldn't complain - it's just a different world there and I guess I'll get used to it. I hope I will. I might not have time because my job is temporary, which might possibly translate to full time. Guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

For deciding to not write about my job, I sure am saying a lot about it. Ah, well, life goes on.

In other news, it's time for me to get my life all balanced out again because I'll be working 9-hour days with every other Friday off - something that should be interesting.

What else is interesting is sociology in real life - work dynamics with all new coworkers, journalists versus engineers, new jokes about jump drives, and a tenuous relationship with people I might not be working with six weeks from now.

Life is fascinating, no?

Very Merry Unbirthday

Sometimes I think Brandon wants to get back at me for being his editor on Scroll for a good two years - which is fine by me. It was so worth it.

He's been getting on me to blog, like I haven't blogged in the last couple of months...oh, wait. I haven't. I'm done with the guilt associated with that - I'm just going to blog now.

I've been gone on vacation to California and Seattle, so when I got back, I thought it was time to have a summer par-te.

I had a couple of ideas for a theme, but ended up deciding on an Unbirthday theme - although I didn't realize I was planning it on a day that four of my friends had their actual birthdays. Caryn wondered if she could come, since it was actually her birthday...I said no, of course. ;)

I also decided that since it was everyone's unbirthday, except for those four, I'd invite everyone, whether I thought they were in the area or could come or not. It led to quite the interesting mix of my friends: family, high school, college, roommates, roommates' family - I had it all. I was surprised how many were able to come - both those who reserved on Facebook and those who didn't.

For some reason I didn't think it would be that big of an occasion, and so when I started to realize how many were coming, I started to panic and went into overkill mode - I made 62 cupcakes for this thing, blew up a good 18ish balloons with puzzle pieces inside and about 20 balloons beside that. I visited my family's house, the dollar store and Big Lots to get some supplies.

And then it was time - and I wasn't ready. Thank the heavens everyone else was almost as late as I was - although I did blow dry my hair and do my makeup while a couple of guests were decorating the house and some cupcakes.

I made some introductions and then we started playing - it was time for the card game spoons.



And then there were 5.



Whittled down to 4 - who will survive?



Elliot, Lisa and Tiffany battle for the number 1 and 2 spots.



Epic Battle Over the Spoons - Family Style



Lisa uses her age advantage over Tiffany to snag the title of Spoons Champion - and the spoon.



I called the next game we played "Because I Could" - I put puzzle pieces in balloons (which I wasn't sure I could) and had two different teams of boys and girls pop them and then put the puzzles together. It was great fun and fascinating to see how the teams worked together. Oh, and the puzzles were Care Bears and Power Rangers.



But, alas, someone cheated on the girl's team side and kept some of the boy's pieces, and the girl's team lost some of their pieces in a popped balloon, so we switched puzzles and did it again. The boys won and got to choose a prize from my crappy dollar store prizes - yes, that's what I called them.

It was time for white elephant gifts. There were some high high quality gifts in that circle - almost as high quality as my dollar store prizes. I personally won a Cindy Crawford exercise tape - I believe it's important to have at least one video in your collection that makes people do a double take. There were also some rock-awesome guitar glasses and a Cat in the Hat hat that switched hands a few times.




Here's what everyone ended up with.



The Grand Finale was decorating cupcakes, putting candles in them, lighting them up and singing happy unbirthday to ourselves.



Yes - we are just that amazing.

In other news, I've finally finished most of my Pay it Forward stuff and proceeded to give Deb her painted pistols with her name written on them, and a video entitled Cowboys.

She looks crazy awesome in this pic I took of her with her loot.



More Pay it Forward to come - someday soon...

Question about "He's Just Not That Into You"

So - I watched He's Just Not That Into You a few weeks ago and I was wondering about something.

You know how they talk about how girls tell each other stories - basically rumors - that help each other get along with their specific situation? And the main guy character says, "They are the exception, not the rule." For instance, one of the girls is having an affair (dumb dumb dumb) and her friend tells her she knows a man who left his wife to marry the girl he was having an affair with and they've been married for 30 years.

An old roommate told me a story once about her friend who chased a guy, rather than the other way around, and he married her. Is this one of those stories that's an exception? Because it's feeling like it is - unless it's one of those things some girls can get away with because they're gorgeous, which makes for maybe a few more exceptions than normal. Or is our society truly changing and women have more power in dating relationships than they used to and are breaking social norms left and right?

For most relationships I've seen, most of the chasing has to be mutual - although I have seen some relationships where it seems that one person gives up and allows themselves to be caught. But is this just a perception on my part or a reality? I really wonder how some relationships work.

These are the things I think about sometimes - weird.

A flying conspiracy

Yes - it's been over a month since I've written on here. Again. Good thing y'all have Google readers and such, so you don't have to check it every day, wondering if I've posted something new - so, you're fine. :)

As I was packing for my trip to Houston to see my adopted sister's wedding, I realized to my annoyance that there is a conspiracy going on in the flying business.

The first component was not being able to take over 3 ounces of fluid on a plane. (Thanks a lot, liquid explosives bomber man.)

The second component is the oh-so-nice addition that has been more recent - having to pay for all luggage that's checked.
(Thank you airlines and gas companies.)

I didn't think it would be that much of a problem, until I looked at all the things I had normally checked and forgotten long before boarding.

Perfume - I do not have less than 3 ounces...I ended up spraying about 100 times and getting some into a random bottle I bought from the Dollar Store because I couldn't figure out how to open it and pour some out from one container to another.

Hair product - I'm not talking shampoo or conditioner - those were fine to find in less than 3 ounces. I'm talking serum and pomade and frizz-be-gone. But it ended up that I didn't have enough room in my quart(!) bag anyway, so these weren't even considerations in the end.

Deodorant - I have recently fallen in love with the new Secret gel deodorant. Crap - GEL. So I settled for some solid Secret - in a tiny container, thank goodness.

Face wash - this is the story about my exploded bottle of facewash. It got a tear in the plastic about...a year or so ago, and ever since then it's been slowly disintegrating. So I keep it in a plastic bag. I was pretty much so angry at this point that I *gasp* just chucked it in my bag and hoped security didn't find it. They didn't. All they cared about was my roll of pennies - they left my bag in the x-ray machine FORever, with me sweating that they'd find my secret stash of liquid.

And yet, as I was griping and complaining about everything, I remembered a clip from YouTube - and I felt contrite. Instead of taking three hours for the flight, it could have taken me a good 24 - and that's in a car, not by horseback or wagon or walking.

But I could have at least taken more than a 3 ounce canteen.

Man, I love these kids

As per a request from a few people, here are pictures of my team. Not in action, which hopefully I'll get in a few weeks when I have more time, but they're still pretty awesome.



Since I was the only coach to be at picture day (I'm not even sure the kids remember my dad now) I was in the team picture and picture with my "child". A bit awkward, but I guess I have been to the most games so far, so it's all good.

From back left to right: Kaleb, Ashley, Jordan and Micah.
From front left to right: Sierra, Elaina, James, Kyson and Kanyon.

They are hilarious. Kaleb, James and Micah all know each other from the neighborhood, and so it's hard to tear them apart and keep them from ripping each others' hats off. Or uprooting the field, one blade of grass at a time. In fact, I have a hard time keeping any of my kids from doing that. Ashley's my little shadow - she's adorable. Jordan is one of my star players who pays attention the entire time and blasts it off of the tee. Micah is also this way, but he tends to get distracted by his friends.

Sierra is the youngest player on the team and had a hard time understanding what to do first off, but now gets what to do and smacks the ball and runs the bases with the best of them. Elaina is one of my other stars - who knows what's going on at all times and seems to enjoy playing. James is like Micah - a great player when he's not being distracting/distracted. Kyson is adorable and has the funniest laugh - he also pays attention and is usually one of the first ones in line when I start one. Kanyon understands and plays hard, but has allergies, so she's itching her eyes a lot. I feel bad for her, but she seems to have a pretty good time.

All for now from the little old lady who lives in a shoe. Er, mitt?