So, I know it's unusual for me to blog like twice in one week, but stay with me people. :) I couldn't not write about this absurd ad I had to build for the paper.
Every once in awhile I get classified ads that I have to build, and they're pretty small and nice so I don't mind doing them. It said on the description that it was an announcement, and it was two columns by eight inches. Then I opened the text and pictures.
It was a dog obituary.
Yes - a dog obituary.
Not only was it a dog obituary, but the language was so flowery and glowing, you'd think it was for...I dunno, maybe a person? Some people don't even get obituaries this good.
I'm having trouble uploading the finished obituary, but it was pretty simple- just this text with some pictures of the dog:
"A Loving Farewell to Painter
On Friday, July 11th, 2008 our white, fluffy, adorable Samoyed went to heaven. After nearly 14 years in Park City, Painter had become a canine celebrity – known and loved by many. Officially named “Painter Polarmist Mover-n-Shaker Keiser,” he had the bloodline and show qualities to be a show dog. His life, however, took a much more adventurous turn — and couldn’t have been further from Westminster. From snowmobiling in Guardsman, to jet setting to Long Beach Island each summer, “P-Ball” lived a life many would envy. His publicist estimates he has appeared in this paper dozens of times, was featured on the Today Show during the Olympics as well as a segment on Extra TV.
All bragging aside, he was the most dependable man in this town we may ever know – in part, because he was a great communicator and could ask for what he wanted. He was loving and furry, and adorable with the most perfect bear face – while always looking regal. He knew how to take care of his girls, and loved a great hike, and to chill out with his mother Lauren. Often referred to by his family as “The Prince of Park City” or “The Prince of LBI” – they know he can never be replaced and say he will be missed deeply. His favorite things included string cheese, puppies and steak bones. Thank you to Dr. Barbe for helping him over the years. We know he is in a happy place now with his good doggie friends.
Painter, you will be with us always.
Painter 1994 - 2008"
Gag me with a spoon.
Now, moving to Park City meant adapting to the lifestyle. One of the things to adapt to was people and their pets up here. Spending big money on their pets is second nature to them - they're like their kids. Spending $400 on knee surgery is an obvious choice. Or taking them to be groomed every week at $100 a pop. I mean, there are people in other areas that do that, but it seems in Park City there are more of them. But a pet obituary that calls a DOG "the most dependable man in town"? Or says "You will be with us always"?
I'm not a pet hater, and I semi-understand how people can dote on them when they don't have children, or even when they do. But shouldn't the insanity stop at a burial in the backyard with a funeral?
On to other rants in the personal paragraphs page of the Park Record...we do engagement announcements and this one was of a couple, obviously, and their picture was of them kissing. Now, I'm not too adverse to PDA, and their kiss isn't that bad, as you can see from the attached picture, but when I have to arrange a page and see that picture glaring out from it as I go along every step of the production process, it kinda gets annoying. I will probably not announce my engagement in a paper, but if I do I will not have a kissing picture and I will certainly not have a kissing picture in my wedding announcement.
Who wants kissing people on their fridge? Anyone out there? I barely want them on this post. Any other annoyances with wedding announcements? A few of mine would be awkward poses to show the ring off, a hundred million pictures and no originality - or too much.
Huh - maybe I'm just picky.
Or maybe it's the end of a production day.