Dave Barry is my hero

I picked up the paper today, Deseret Morning News for those who want to know, and there it was. The reason why I live through the year: Dave Barry's Year in Review 2007.

Dave Barry is one of those writers who amazes me because he makes fun of everyone equally: world leaders, politicians of either party, and especially celebrities. I read him faithfully, which isn't hard to do these days because he's been on sabbatical for the past three years so all he's come out with is his Year in Review and his Gift Guide.

But even before his sabbatical I was reading every column and book he wrote, amazed at his audacity as a writer to not only make fun of everyone, but to bring relationships into perspective, too. One of his books called Dave Barry's The Complete Guide to Guys, has a quote I will never forget.

“A guy in a relationship is like an ant standing on top of a truck tire. The ant is aware – on a very basic level – that something large is there, but he cannot even dimly comprehend what this thing is, or the nature of his involvement with it. And if the truck starts moving, and the tire starts to roll, the ant will sense that something important is happening, but right up until he rolls around to the bottom and is squashed into a small black blot, the only distinct thought that will form in his tiny brain will be, and I quote, ‘Huh?’…

Another thing I like about Dave Barry is the fact that he pays attention to world events and connects things together in a hilarious way. Take, for example, a line in his Year in Review. "In entertainment news, author J.K. Rowling surprises fans of the "Harry Potter" series when she reveals that Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts School, was also, secretly, a U.S. senator from Idaho."



Pop in some great band names, such as The Phlegmtones, and the fact that Alberto Gonzales' name can be rearranged to form "Re-Label Zoo Gnats" and "Gala Lobster Zone," and you've got one heck of a great writer.

Thank you Dave Barry for making my year. I hope someday I can make fun of people equally and be a great writer like you.

Agatha Christie- how does she do it?

My sister Becca got me addicted to Agatha Christie over the summer, while she was getting herself addicted. Ever since then, I've been reading about Miss Marple and Hercule Poirot basically nonstop. My Aunt Karen added to the joy of Christmas reading by lending Becca about 25 of her books.

This lady astounds me every time I pick up a new book, every time I turn a page. Even though I should be pretty wise to mystery books by now, what with my extensive Sherlock Holmes and Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew readings, she throws me for loops like you wouldn't believe. I should be wise just to her writing now, too, but I'm sure not.

My triumph is that I made a correct guess once about who the killer was--I was incredibly stoked and almost woke up Becca to tell her, but decided against it. She's now a Christie connoisseur, and was excited for me, but also said she'd gotten four right in her 35-some-odd books she's read.

Not only has Christie written mystery books, she also did a book of plays with stage directions and everything. It made me tempted to try my hand at them. I'll let you know if I ever do so.

The sad, sad tale of Snow Elphaba

So, I promised to upload a photo of Snow Elphaba, but alas, I didn't get to her before her head and arm fell off and my brothers finished the job by tackling her to the ground. Oh, and then it snowed. It snowed throughout the time, actually. Sorry those of you who were expecting a cool picture. All I have to give you is a rather sad tale.

Snow sculpting

So, Becca and I decided to make a Snow Elphaba, from the musical Wicked, last night when we were contemplating what she was going to do with her break, and she said she wanted to do a snow sculpture. I've always wanted to do something with snow and food coloring in a spray bottle, so I suggested Elphaba.

Since it snowed quite a lot over night and that evening, we had quite a lot to work with when we woke up. Except that it was mostly powder; not the most sculpture-friendly material. We tried to start out with a snowman shape, but after the ball wouldn't get any bigger, and it was packing the snow down, we just built on it as it was already by picking up big handfuls of snow and packing it on the ball.

That gave us kind of a lumpy shape to start with, but we figured we could just shave it all away. Snow sculpting is waaaay harder than we first imagined, especially when the tool is a butter knife. Needless to say, she's a bit uneven all around, but we finished her, and from far away with a witch hat, she doesn't look half bad. :)

We haven't finished her, but I'll be sure to post a picture once we're done. She just needs coloring and some hair...

Takin' a walk

So, after being confined to the house for about four days, I finally decided it was time to take a walk. And although I had many choices available to stroll by, especially since the Jordan River Parkway is about fifteen minutes away, I decided to combine my shopping and exercise, and walk to the good ol' Dollar Store. Whoever thought Dollar Stores up deserves a star. Maybe two.

What's funny about my exercise when I'm home for breaks is that it's nonexistent, and yet at school I get it in at least three times a week, besides walking to class. In Rexburg, Idaho. What else is funny is that Brandon gets more exercise when he comes home. Lots of brothers to wrestle and play basketball with, I guess. So I've decided to become more like Brandon, although not disgrace myself in front of my adolescent brothers. They are mostly taller than me and stuff me with ease, although they usually try to be nice at first and pretend that I'm holding my own.

Anyway, I headed out in the beautiful temperature of 44 degrees, rather unheard of in Rexburg, and actually took off my coat for most of the walk. I'm sure the people driving by were like, "Homeless or just a crazy?" Ah, well.

Something else that's crazy is how many things you can be grateful for if you start looking around. All those people driving by made a wind of some sort, and although it wasn't the natural sort of wind one gets from a lake or the ocean or anything, it was still pretty cool- especially when a semi drove by. The pavement and asphalt weren't the most beautiful things to look at, but at least they didn't have ice on them. The fact that I have legs is something to be excited about, and the fact that I can use them is even more marvelous.

So, if "upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed," or even if you're sailing calm seas, take time to look around and be grateful. It's well worth the glance.

Being a mom

Whenever I come home for breaks and such, my mom's favorite thing to capitalize on is the fact that she has a babysitter at home -- especially when it's Christmas. Not that I blame her, because she has nine kids to shop for, not counting in-laws and teachers and neighbors and her parents. Oh, and she's was in Hawaii last week with my dad.

So, mostly for the Hawaii reason, she asked me to take Micah to Play Group. Play Group is a bunch of moms from the ward who bring their kids to play with each other while they chat it up. Granted, I'm just the older sister of my brother, but sometimes I feel like I'm one of the moms. I know I'm too young, and not even married, but I have had lots of younger siblings to babysit and play with while I was growing up, and even when I went away to college. Case in point: I'm 21 and my youngest brother is four.

I mean, I was sitting there chatting it up with all the moms, and they talked to me about their different kids' quirks, and I remembered my little brother Seth's fascination with pots and pans. One mom commented that her baby was sedate and I remembered Seth and Josh and Jonathan and Micah -- none of whom were really quiet. Ever. But I loved/love them anyway.

I worry about my siblings, I pick them up and drop them off for things, I attend their recitals and concerts. Those are all things I could really do as a good sister, but for some reason, after Play Group this morning, it just isn't the same...

Tribute to Scrollies

It's finally happened; what I've been dreading all semester. Scroll is finally over and a ton of my friends are leaving me. A ton already have, but now even more are going to be gone. A lot of times this semester, especially when they were choosing leadership, it occurred to me just how many of my friends I started out with on Scroll are moving on or spreading around the world.

So, I decided to give a tribute of good times to them all, one by one.

Amber Meyers- she was my inspiration to join Scroll in the first place, and she's provided so much laughter since. I love hearing her stories about her classes she's already taught and things that went on the Financial Aid office. Somehow, she'd always know when something was going on at BYU-Idaho. I'll never forget that look she got when she had a story idea-- and how she looked all warm and cozy in her stolen airplane blanket. She's also the person who got me hooked on Lost. So, thanks to my Lost dealer, Amber.

Ben Caballero- I got to know Ben when he was one of the News assistant editors, and my love for him has grown since then. I loved his Q&As he did this semester, ranging from Santa Clause to the new city council member who was a student. He and I both went for the Des News internship and he got it, but he never was egotistical about the fact. In fact, he never had a big head about much of anything. Thanks for the humility and good times, Ben. He also made fun of me like no other all the time, but I took it in stride and knew it was his way of showing his love for me. :)

Jade Swartzberg- our very own South African Canadian Jew- I loved her for all the times she would talk about her heritage. I also loved it when she would tell me about Survivor or the Amazing Race, 'cause heaven knows I didn't keep up on it. She was always hilarious, ready and waiting for a witty comment to throw in Editor's Meeting or during production. She also was supremely calm and never seemed to get ruffled about anything, which helped my stress levels. :)

Keli Glade- I can't believe she's going on a mission, but she'll basically rock on it! She was always so happy in the office, ready to give me the latest youtube video she'd found or comment about Ben Affleck's hair in his latest movie. She had some of the best columns I've ever seen, and she always had her hair done so cutely! I'm gonna miss her in A&E.

Allison Walker Harris- I got to know Allison really well when we were both campus assistant editors with Autumn Hill our sophomore fall semester. She was rather freaked out, 'cause she'd only had like a semester of Scroll, but she did great at learning it quickly. I roomed with Allison for a good year and really got to know her personality even more. She's a stalwart, hard-working, hilarious person. She would always be the first one to shoot the breeze with me in the office, which was fun. Especially her stories of her husband, Warren. :) She never made me feel awkward about being single after she got married, which I enjoyed. Circling crazy ladies on my pages in my ads was always a treat. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will never be the same for me now and I will always be thankful I'm not an English major. Thanks, Allison.

John Gagnon- John was already kind of a Scroll ancient by the time I got to know him in Fall 2004, but that's what was so great about him- I always knew I could turn to him and he would have the answer. Whether coloring in my ads when he should've been reading my page, or singing a song I could harmonize with, John made me laugh my head off when I should've been working. Many a wasted hour was spent on youtube and other various areas of entertainment, and I enjoyed making stuff up with him, like when he'd start talking in his Italian accent and I would answer back. I salute you, John.

Comic Frenzy-- my secret dream

I just went to a Comic Frenzy show tonight. One of the 7:00 showings -- those of you who are regulars at the shows know what I'm talking about. 7:00 is a smaller crowd, so the group has a harder time getting into the improv comedy games. So I just kinda started getting into it. Like, crazy getting into it -- giving tons of suggestions and laughing really loudly and thinking of things to say in my head (like the name of a children's book being "Why Mommy Cries") if I were on stage.

Then I thought, why couldn't/can't I be on that stage with them? I remembered that one of the guys on the troupe who I know, John, said they were losing a lot of guys next semester.

And it hit me. What if I tried out?

"Ah! You're not funny enough!" said my evil, non-self-esteem angel side.

"Ha! Yes I am!" I told him. (For some reason, my evil angel is a man. :))

So, as of now, I'm going to try out for Comic Frenzy. That is, until I lose my nerve...

Dang it! Brandon entered the blogging world!

Dear Journal (and everyone else who is reading this blog because Grandpa just told everyone about it)~

Just found out today that Brandon has a blog and has posted about 20 times on it. Oh, and he's commented about the fact that I've had a blog about 20 times longer than he has, and I've posted a grand total of, counting this blog, four times. *Sigh. Yet again does Brandon enter something I started first and completely take it over in a flash of light.

He's got a quote of the day, has categorized his 20 posts, and has added pictures and movies to many of his blogs. I'm lucky if I can get the words out to post, much less categorize and add art to them.

He also has a seemingly endless supply of material to blog about. Sports, politics, news, the Internet and more! It's like a one-stop shopping trip in blogform.

And yet, I will not despair! I will post when I can, add pictures as needed, and secretly try to undermine his blog. Just kidding! (For those of you who don't know, Brandon is almost the sole reader of my blog. Or was, as of Tuesday, December 4th at 3:36 p.m.)

I'm proud that he would go into the blogging world with such an enthusiasm and put both feet in. When he's a world-famous blogger someday, and is getting interviews with Wolf Blitzer and Glenn Beck, I hope he remembers me — and maybe will still give me tips on how to make my blog better.

Taming of the Shrew

I just finished watching Taming of the Shrew- a marvelous production, if I do say so myself. Although, I must say the message was slightly mixed. I couldn't decide whether it was telling women to be shrewish to get men, so they have to tame you, or to be tame from the beginning, so men will love you. I don't get Shakespeare sometimes...

I'm not going to lie: I was torn on my feelings for Kate in the show. I mean, she was a perfectly awful person who just went around being mean to people and such, but if you think about it, her life couldn't have been a picnic exactly. How did she become a shrew? I hardly think she was born as one. She had to live with a beautiful sister whom her father clearly adored, and who suitors lined up around the block for. I'm sure she got the "lesser sister/daughter" treatment from birth, which might have been why she was so peevish all the time.

When Petruccio started to break her, I started feeling bad for her. Even though she had been a jerk in acts and scenes past, I didn't feel she deserved to be "broken" and was saddened to see it happen. Kate's speech at the end about women's obedience to men was especially unnerving for me, and I'm still trying to figure out why. Maybe it was Petruccio's braggadocio about his wife's obedience that really made me angry-- Kate's wasn't the only one with faults that needed to be made better. No, I'm not a feminist.

Then again, I couldn't help thinking that it was a game for Kate. When she finally decides to start obeying his commands no matter what he says, (because it's either follow them or go back) it seems there is a bit of a twinkle in her eye. I think it finally dawns on her that she is stuck with this man at least for the next little while, although probably the rest of her life, and she better make the best of it. The best way she knows how to do so is to play the game he proposes. I also can't help thinking that the bet at the end between the three men is set up by Kate and Petruccio before they get there. It would make more sense to me and would soothe my feelings that Kate was now just a mindless, obedient slave.

Was Kate's character at the end the kind of woman Shakespeare really wanted? Is she the kind of woman men want?

Relationships between men and women at BYU-I

I was hanging out with my roommate, Lisa, the other night, and we started talking about guys. However, it was more in depth than your usual conversation that goes something like this: "Like, oh my gosh! I totally like like _(insert name of latest crush here)__."

This time we got to talking about how guys on campus are players, to a certain extent, and how they're encouraged to be that way. This pressure comes from all sorts of places, including bishops and devotional speakers. Also, everyone knows the guy-to-girl ratio at BYU-I is definitely in the guy's favor, and we definitely agreed that the ratio is part of the reason they might seem like players.

We also agreed that those two things are probably part of the reason more guys get married at BYU-I than girls. I know it might seem like a "duh" thing, but we came up with reasons why this happens. Not only are they encouraged to be players, but with the odds the way they are, it's more likely they'll get married because they have more single girls to choose from and match with. It just statistically makes sense.

Then we talked about how most girls on BYU-I campus tend to chase guys — one at a time. She focuses her efforts on one guy to have a crush on and doesn't look up from him during the entire semester. Since the odds are already fighting against her, she handicaps herself even more by only focusing on one guy.

The ironic part of this whole conversation was when we realized that women are usually the ones who can multi-task, and men are usually the ones who have a hard time listening to their wives and watching the game at the same time.

So, women who are single and looking, throw your line in more places! If the odds seem to be working against you, tip them in your favor.

Men, keep on keepin' on. Even though some people might see you as players for asking out a different girl every weekend, it's a good way for you to get to know a lot of people and increase your chances of finding "The One" — wherever she is.

Getting to know me

Since I've entered the world of blogging, I've decided to give a little introduction to my site for those of you who don't already know me.

I'm a communication major with an emphasis in journalism and on my school's newspaper, which is partly why I decided to start a blog.

My minor is sociology and my sociology classes will probably provide a lot of fodder...I mean, material...for my posts. Right now I'm taking Introduction to Sociology (online), Introduction to Criminal Justice, Drugs and Society, and Ethnic Relations.

I'm from a large family and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which will probably also be a part of my arguments and posts.

Everything else I'm sure you'll figure out as my number of posts grow. Happy reading!